Chronic Whiners

Going from Whine to Win

Subject: Whining, Helplessness, Entitlement, Success, Motivation

By Victor Antonio

Whine, Whine, Whine.  “Why not me?  Why can’t I have some?  Why don’t I have that?  Why is it always someone else who gets the breaks?”   I can't take it!  Damn it!  Stop it people!

The other day I’m speaking to an individual who in the course of a 10 minute discussion used every “Why” statement I just mentioned.  After a while I just couldn’t listen anymore.  I couldn’t get a word in edgewise because he was too busy telling me “why” life sucks!    After he left, I got to thinking about the ‘value’ of whining.  And in so doing, I came up with a few questions I’d like to pose to you before getting into the value of whining:

Question 1:  Would you invest your money in something that provided no value?

Question 2:  Would you ever do something knowing that it would hurt your personal credibility with others?

Question 3:  Does whining have any redemptive value?

If you answered ‘no’ to all three questions, we’re on the same page.  If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above,…well…move on to another article; this one is not for you!

Answer 1:  When a person ‘whines’ they are investing their time and energy into the activity of whining.  Time and energy translates into effort which is usually rewarded with money.  So, when you whine, you invest your time and energy into something that provides no value.

In you are a chronic whiner than you are continually investing in an activity that provides no value.  If there were a ‘stock’ that was publicly traded on the New York Stock Exchange with the call sign WHNE that showed no profit year after year, would you continue to buy the stock?  Of course not!  So why invest in an activity that year-after-year shows no profit or gain for you personally?  Don’t invest in things that don’t provide value.

Answer 2:  If you invest your time whining, how does that benefit you in the eyes of your peers?  Do you think after you whine about something that people walk away thinking, “Boy that was the best whining I’ve ever heard!  Can’t wait for his next whining session!”  NO!  What they do is avoid bringing up the subject again or talking to you altogether.  You don’t get ‘credibility’ points when you whine.  Whining diminishes your stature; it does nothing to enhance it.

Answer 3:  The next time you find yourself walking way after whining about something, I want you stop and ponder this simple question, “What did I gain from whining?”   Don’t be surprised if the answer comes back, ‘nothing’.   Think back for a moment to the last time you whined about something.  Did anything really change?  Did people all of sudden come to their senses and begin singing your praises for enlightening them with your brilliance?  Most likely not!    How many times have you walked away from a whine session regretting you ever got started in the first place?   I like to call this, Whiner’s Remorse.  You can’t win when you whine; there is NO redemptive value.

Here’s what I suggest for you chronic whiners.  I want you to drop the sense of Helplessness you're feeling.  Sometimes you get so mired in the details of your daily existence that you forget to stop, breathe and realize that you aren't as helpless as YOU think. 

The next thing you need to do is drop the sense of Entitlement.   Too many of you think you’re entitled to certain luxuries in life.  You have this “delusion” of grandeur that life owes us something.  Life doesn’t owe you a damn thing!  (read that again)  When you were born, there wasn’t a PERFECT LIFE GUARANTEE attached to your umbilical cord.  Stop waiting around for someone to:

a)      Validate you

b)      Create opportunities for you

c)      Tell you you’re worthy

d)      Pay you what you’re worth

e)      Fix things for you

f)       Reward you

g)      Give you things

You aren’t entitled to any of the above or in a position to demand it of others.  Get over it! 

Is it too late to change if you're a Chronic Whiner?  Can Chronic Whining be cured?  Yes. There is hope! Chronic whining is curable if you’re willing to heed this simple prescription:  WHINE minus Helplessness minus Entitlement mentality equals WIN.     Let the healing and the winning begin!

 WARNING

Constant exposure to Helplessness and feeling of Entitlement will only prolong the effects of Chronic Whining and may cause long-term or irreversible damage to your psyche.  Consult a “whine-atrician” before giving up on yourself.

Please share this article with a friend who is suffering (or is a victim) of Chronic Whining.

Copyright © 2005 by Victor Antonio   All rights reserved.  This article MAY be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, as long as the author’s name, website and email address are included as part of the article’s body.  All inquiries, including information on electronic licensing, should be directed to Victor Antonio.